Why does the Torah consider a woman who is divorce from her husband subsequently married to another man and once again divorced or he dies she can’t go back to the first husband the Torah calls this toeuvah. Why

Excellent question — this touches on one of the more challenging chukim (divine statutes) in the Torah, one that has generated significant rabbinic and philosophical discussion across the generations.

Key Takeaways

The Torah in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 explicitly prohibits a woman from returning to her first husband after being married to a second man, calling such a return to'evah (abomination).
This is classified as a chok — a divine decree whose full reasoning is not entirely accessible to human logic — yet the rabbis still offer compelling explanations.
The prohibition protects against marriages becoming transactional and prevents moral degradation of the institution of marriage.
Some commentators see it as protecting the woman's dignity and preventing her from being treated like an object passed between men.
The to'evah label applies specifically to the act of return, not to the woman herself — a crucial distinction.

The Torah's Text

[Deuteronomy 24:1-4] states the law explicitly:

כִּי־מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר וְכָתַב לָהּ סֵפֶר כְּרִיתֻת... לֹא־יוּכַל בַּעְלָהּ הָרִאשׁוֹן אֲשֶׁר־שִׁלְּחָהּ לָשׁוּב לְקַחְתָּהּ...כִּי־תוֹעֵבָה הִוא לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה

"...her first husband who sent her away may not take her back... for that is an abomination before the Lord."

The word תוֹעֵבָה (to'evah) is the same word used for other serious moral violations in the Torah, and its use here demands explanation.

Why Is It Called To'evah? Major Explanations

1. 🏛️ Rashi — Protecting Against Licentiousness

Rashi [Rashi, Deuteronomy 24:4] explains that if a woman could freely cycle back to her first husband, it would create a situation of moral chaos. A husband might deliberately send his wife away, allow her to marry another man temporarily, and then take her back — essentially using the second marriage as a form of permitted licentiousness (znut).

The Torah therefore labels the return itself as to'evah to create a firm barrier against this kind of manipulation of marriage law.

2. 📖 Maimonides (Rambam) — Protecting the Sanctity of Marriage

Rambam [Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Gerushin 11:1] understands this prohibition as reinforcing the seriousness and finality of divorce. If a husband knew he could always take his wife back after she married another man, the get (גֵּט, bill of divorce) would lose its gravity and weight. Making the divorce irreversible under these conditions forces couples to think very carefully before dissolving a marriage.

This connects to the broader Talmudic teaching [Gittin 90b] that:

כָּל הַמְגָרֵשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ רִאשׁוֹנָה אֲפִילוּ מִזְבֵּחַ מוֹרִיד עָלָיו דְּמָעוֹת "Whoever divorces his first wife — even the altar sheds tears for him."

3. 🔍 Sefer HaChinuch — The Woman Is Not an Object

Sefer HaChinuch [Mitzvah 580] emphasizes that this law protects human dignity, particularly the woman's. Allowing a woman to be "passed back" to her first husband after experiencing another marriage treats her as property rather than a person. The to'evah designation stamps out any notion that women can be exchanged or returned like goods.

This reading is powerfully supported by the Torah's foundational statement in [Genesis 2:24]:

וְדָבַק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ וְהָיוּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד "And he shall cleave to his wife and they shall be as one flesh."

Marriage creates an ontological bond. The casual "recycling" of wives would profoundly contradict this vision.

4. 🧠 Nachmanides (Ramban) — Spiritual Contamination

Ramban [Ramban, Deuteronomy 24:4] introduces a more mystical dimension. He argues that the second marriage creates a form of spiritual transformation (shinui — change) in the woman's status relative to her first husband. Something fundamental has shifted in their relationship that cannot simply be undone.

He connects the word hut'ama'ah (she has become defiled/changed) in the verse not as a moral condemnation of the woman, but as a description of a spiritual-relational reality — the bond between them has been altered in a way that makes reunion spiritually disordered.

5. ⚖️ The Practical-Legal Dimension — Resemblance to Forbidden Relationships

The Talmud [Yevamot 11b] notes that this situation has structural similarities to other forbidden sexual relationships in the Torah. The intermediate marriage to the second husband creates a category shift — in some ways, the woman's return would resemble adultery in reverse, a confusion of boundaries that the Torah finds deeply objectionable.

Why the Word To'evah Specifically?

The use of to'evah — rather than simply assur (forbidden) — is significant. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch [Hirsch, Deuteronomy 24:4] explains that to'evah specifically denotes something that corrupts and degrades the moral fabric of society, not merely a technical violation. It signals that this act, if permitted, would erode the entire institution of marriage from within.

The Deeper Message

At its core, this law teaches that marriage is not a revolving door. The Torah's vision of marriage, rooted in Genesis 2:24, is one of profound, irreversible commitment. Divorce is permitted as a concession to human imperfection [Deuteronomy 24:1], but once that bond is severed and a new bond formed, the original relationship cannot simply be reconstructed as though nothing happened. To attempt to do so treats marriage — and the woman — as trivially disposable and recoverable, which is precisely what the Torah calls to'evah.

For any personal halachic questions regarding divorce or marriage law, please consult your local rabbi or posek.